Service to others

So what is it about being "in service to others" that nourishes spirit? When I was much younger, I never doubted that doing for others or volunteering to do something that was helpful to others was anything but enhancing to my well-being. Yet something happened over the years of young adulthood that seemed to change that. I really am not at all sure what it was that happened, but I do know that I reached a point where I began to resent anyone's requests of me.

I think it was being involved with a personal growth seminar that reminded me of the benefit to self that giving or doing with others truly is. We were challenged, in this course, to entertain the residents in an institution where many seniors were spending their last days. We didn't know that was the goal until the morning we showed up. We were told to dress as clowns. So a group of about twenty adults, dressed as clowns, spent all day at this seniors hospice engaged in whatever the group or individual wanted to do. I remember just listening to one woman's stories. Her stories were far more entertaining and interesting than anything I could have added to the conversation. I was spellbound as she told one story after another of her voyage across pioneer Canada. Stories about how she and her husband would clear the land, build a home, try to exist farming - it was amazing. I listened for probably over an hour. She then asked if I would sing her a song. One of the very few songs I can play on the guitar is "Four Strong Winds." So that was the song I sang. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she listened. It was as if she had never heard this song before and that it had been written for her. I was in awe. She thanked me at the end. I tried my best to let her know that I was the one who needed to thank her. She had shared so much of her story, of who she was, and had provided my an opportunity to perform the one song I was able to play.

That might be it. The opportunity to share with another is a gift. It was such a gift to listen to her. It seemed to be a gift for her to have someone to talk with or to (though I can't imagine why anyone would not be thrilled to listen to her for hours).

When I first started cooking for Inn From the Cold (when it began at Knox), people would ask me why I would want to commit one Sunday a month to cook for homeless people. I thought the privilege was absolutely the other way around. I felt so lucky that I would be able to cook for a large group of people. I love to cook. I have cooked since I was a young child. I cook for my family. I often get positive feedback, but I also get the "I don't like it, what is it?" when I try something new. I have never had anyone complain about what I have prepared for Inn From the Cold. They are a most appreciative group. So to be able to cook for a large group that I know is going to appreciate the food has always been a pleasure.

At one point, during my stint as an IFTC cook, a friend suggested that I was perpetuating poverty in Calgary because I was cooking for homeless people. It was a difficult concept for me to understand and I tried hard to do so. I think I tried hard, because I thought there must be something wrong with something that provided me with so much fun, pleasure, and feeling of worth. (I think this is a throwback to my New England puritanical up-bringing.) I kept pondering his suggestion, even trying to follow his arguments. In the end, I decided that it was not my act of cooking that perpetuated any poverty. Rather, it was the aspect that homeless people were getting needs filled without government intervention that bothered my friend. If the government didn't have to do anything, then society would come to depend on the good nature of people like myself. Well, I think that societies have always depended, to a certain degree, on people like myself becoming involved with service simply because we will never be able to convince the majority of people that no one should have to go hungry or be homeless. Anyway, my point today is not to argue for government intervention or more charity being performed by everyday citizens.

My real point is that it is a privilege to serve. In serving, I show my gratitude for the bounty I have been provided. In serving, I do more than talk about how the world might be a better place. By serving, I put myself out for someone else - oftentimes without necessarily knowing who that person is. That it feels good should not be a sin. It's like running. It is a healthy thing to do. It also produces endorphines and other chemicals that make you "high." Because it feels good, should we not do it? I wish I still could run like I once did without hurting my knees.

Maybe I shouldn't sing either? Sorry, that's not going to happen! Deriving joy from serving others does not detract from what one does. Nurturing one's spirit should not have to be unpleasant either.

Namaste!

In the beginning.....

In the beginning, I wish there had been more light!

I am just beginning my new job as child and youth coordinator here at Knox United Church in Calgary. I have been a member of this church for about 20 years. I have found it a wonderful home in which I can explore and develop my sense of spirituality. At the same time, I have watched children grow and leave the congregation - at least leave the activity they once exercised within this community. I am aware of some of the reasons and will try to respond to what I have been told as well as try to figure out whether my hypotheses are accurate.

What this is will hopefully help respond to some of those concerns. I am hoping that this blog can gather some of the people who might come to Knox, but who are not yet coming, or who have changed from this place. I invite you to participate. Perhaps we can use this to start a conversation and an exploration into how we can make this church more responsive to youth. The church should be a place where youth feel safe, feel at home, feel like they are valued, honoured, respected, and where they have a voice.

If you are wondering about the "Huda Hakawi" aspect of this.....

I hated the idea of going to "Sunday School" when I was a child. I rejected it even more strongly as an adolescent. This is why I refuse to see my job as a director of Sunday School.

When I was an adolescent, I was far more involved with trying to figure out who I was, what I believed, where I was going, and what I wanted to do in my future. There were few places for me to go to explore that. I was lucky. I met some very radical thinkers. These people were also people of ACTION. Incidentally, they were involved with my church. They were NOT, however, people who "preached" to me or my friends. They were not, what we referred to as "bible thumpers." They did challenge us to think and feel.

I am hoping to be more like these mentors of my past. So "Huda Hakawi" is what I am trying to establish as a child and youth program at Knox. Huda Hakawi is simply "Who the heck are we?" written to seem like something else. It does, however, signal people that my aim is to take direction from the youth or children who become a part of what we do.

So:

Who are you?
Who do you want to be?
How do you want to become those people?
What role do you want?
What do you want to do?

I open the conversation to anyone who wants to participate. You don't need to be connected to our church or any church. You don't need to actually come to be physically present. I only ask you to join in the discussion. Let's see where it leads.

Who am I targeting?

• Youth: 13 - 25.
• Preferably near Calgary Alberta, but you don't have to be to engage in this discussion.
• You likely are Christian or your family is so, but let's not limit this space to those who are Christian. Let's share who we are and get to know more about the diversity of the world. My daughter describes herself as not believing in anything. I would not close her from this conversation. She might have the questions and comments that stimulate real thought and growth.
  
• Someone who is exploring their spirituality. Someone who wants to grow in her/his spirituality. Someone who wants to know themselves as a spiritual being.
• Someone who doesn't mind "being in the process of growing".

I will not pretend to have the answers to all questions. I know that I am still growing in my own spirituality. I don't even know if I will have any answers to questions. I will, however, commit to exploring with you.

So, Who am I?

• Staff Associate coordinating Children and Youth at Knox United Church.
• Part of Knox United Church in Calgary Alberta
• A former teacher and public school administrator
• a father of two
• Dr. Dan (this link will take you to my facebook page. You can get lots of info - likely more than you want.)

So let's see where we go. Please feel free to join in!