A funny thing happened @ Starbucks

So I stopped at Starbucks to feed my caffeine addiction yesterday and to generally relax and appreciate the movement of the day and our planet. As I was doing so, someone sitting nearby (a young woman of university age) asked if I would mind discussing something with her as she was preparing for a debate. I'm usually open to that sort of thing. She explained that she was debating the concept of marriage for a university class. She would be taking the standpoint that governments should stay out of the process of regulating marriage. She wanted to know why I had married, what I thought about the institution of marriage, what would I consider as "grounds for divorce," and anything else I wanted to comment. The conversation eventually led to same sex marriage. I explained that I worked at a church that supported the inclusion of everyone in our community - this inclusion also involved sacraments. We certainly did perform legal marriages for same sex couples and we previously had performed same sex covenanting ceremonies for those who wanted to marry spiritually prior to marriage becoming a legal possibility.

It turn out that her college is closely allied with the Alliance Church. She was interested in the idea of full membership of gay & lesbian people, would promote that her church welcomes everyone, but that she would not support the idea of same sex marriage. When I asked if this was a bit conflicting with "welcoming", she went into the "love the sinner, but not the sin" shtick. When I asked about the "sin" aspect, she quoted Paul rather than Leviticus. Apparently the absence of mention of same sex couples makes any joining of such a sin.

As we neared the end of our conversation together, I explained that I think the Bible is rich with symbolism, that it was written so long ago that I try to look deeply inside to understand how the writings can useful in today's world. I told her that I try to go back and compare and contrast my understanding of Christ's message to us with the writings in the Bible. I explained that I truly believe that our make up is part of the miracle that has been created in our existence and that if God truly had such a strong influence on this creation, I can't believe that being Gay or Lesbian could be a sin - nor the love making between adults - whether they be Gay, Lesbian, Straight, trans-gendered, trans-sexual, or whatever. It seemed that she quickly went into an "auto-pilot" kind of reaction that retreated to the "security" of the church, her family, or doctrine. There seemed to be a stop to her own thinking. It was too bad. Things had been interesting up to that point.

I wonder if I do that when I get to a point in discussion where I no longer am sure of myself. I truly hope not. I think it is really ok to try to form a new understanding of an idea. I want my beliefs to be able to withstand close examination. I am ok with the idea that someone may be able to help me understand something in a deeper way.

What think you?